By ROKU FUKUI and MITCH RHYNER
BOLOGNA — It’s Saturday morning in Bologna and Mankiw is calling your name. We’ve all been there. Reading in the library is so ieri and you are looking for someplace that recognizes your new age spirit yet maintains a vintage feel. And Wi-Fi is a must. Deadlines for summer internships are weighing you down like all the pizza you have consumed this year.
The following is a list of cafes that capture exactly why you came to Italy – it is the Williamsburg of Europe.
Address: Via Rialto 22
The instagramability of this place is a 10. Seriously, the entire cafe could be an Etsy storefront. And the cute vegan barista is a Gemini, so she gets me. I think her name is Moonbeam and I love her hat. She knitted it herself.
This place prides itself on its vegetarian menu and you can tell the servers care because of the banana lassi. You know, that Indian drink.
Prices are a bit high but they have almond and soy milk options. And hey, I’m here for the ironic tattoos and septum piercings. Also, I can tell the people are really into culture, not consumption. The copy of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest on the bookshelf is evidence enough.
I should tell them about kale.
My Facebook and Twitter friends are going to be so jealous!
Cappuccino: 1.50 €
Advice: Try their craft beers.
Fun Cool Oh
Address: Via Belvedere 2/a
The service is about as attentive as Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand. Seriously, can I get a coffee? The punny name is hilarious though, I’ll give them that.
This is a great place for some solitude after a late night karaoke session and warehouse rave at Giulio’s (was someone passing out shots of Slivovitz last time?). Also, you won’t be judged for ordering a cappuccino after 12:00. Not like at Caffé Terzi with its bearded, vest-wearing baristas.
The servers here are too busy rolling cigarettes and debating the level of synth on the latests MS MR album to pay you any mind. But I respect that.
Located next to the Herb Market, Fun Cool Oh also plays dope tunes from my childhood. The vibe is electro pop meets southern hip-hop. You can be yourself here.
Cappuccino: 1.30 €
Advice: Eat next door.
Café de la Paix
Address: Via Collegio di Spagna 5
The coffee here is not to die for. Seriously, it’s ethically produced. I think the management supports fair labor practices and may even recycle. This is a great place to take a break from saving the world.
If nothing pans out for the summer – let’s be honest, I spend way too much time in cafes drinking coffee rather than updating my LinkedIn profile – I might just work here.
Or, if my dream of being this generation’s post-ironic answer to the World Bank is crushed and I end up furnishing a comfy cardboard box in DC for the summer, they might just hire me. After all, I think they employ disadvantaged youths and the walls are decorated with pictures of orphans from somewhere. I want to say… Nepal?
But I’d prefer that you don’t go here; I like that there’s at least one place I can go to escape SAIS. You’re all great, but you’ll just come and tie up the free Wi-Fi bandwidth. And how am I to learn about NATO’s much-needed structural reforms when you keep asking me about your Tinder decisions? JUST SWIPE RIGHT.
Is it cool to update my LinkedIn profile with Italian proficiency because I’m able to request extra foam? I’ll do it later.
Cappuccino: 1.30 €
Advice: Ginger Cocktails? Yum! But don’t come here.
Address: Strada Maggiore 50
What’s up with the art here? This place is meant to be child-friendly but those building blocks are way too phalic.
I’m here mostly because I’ve gone far too long without a bagel; I just want some cream cheese and salmon on thick bread. Is that too much to ask, Italy?
Zoo is perfect for the young-professional mother. There must be a yoga studio nearby because everybody has a yoga mat. I made the mistake of coming at nap time (mine, not the kids’) and was forced to fight my way through the strollers to read the advertisements for ‘Baby Pilate Lessons’ and ‘Pet Yoga’. What is that anyway? They can’t be serious. Do they even know about Thucydides?
But really, 6 € for a bagel? C’mon! Some of us have to do unpaid internships this summer.
Yet, I still go back for the unlimited Americano. Supply and demand, am I right?
Unlimited Americano: 1 €
Advice: Bring your bagel back to campus to show everyone how much disposable income you have.
Next time: Best craft beers in Bologna.