SATIRE: Pre-term Friendship Breaks Down After True Personalities Revealed in Facebook Rant

November 11, 2016November 17, 2016

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BY ALEC ANSUSINHA

Just three months after becoming inseparable “bros” and study buddies during pre-term microeconomics, SAIS student Kevan Bakin unfriended Becky Smithson on Facebook. After Bakin posted a 3,000 word manifesto about the merits of Hillary Clinton’s pantsuit game, things got heated in the comments between the two former friends.

Becky made the first comment, laying out her argument for why criminals should not be allowed to hold office, citing a blogpost she found on the seventh page of a google search for “proof Hillary is a murderer.” When Kevan pointed out that the murder allegations were false, Becky repeatedly called him a “hackneyed liberal” who only espoused mainstream media lies.

Becky goaded Kevan into abandoning rational argument after just 11 comments. Eventually, Kevan finally gave in and unfriended her after she criticized the television show “Golden Girls” for having poor production values.

“I’d always had suspicions about Becky’s alt-right ties,” Kevin said. He recounted to the SAIS Observer that during one of his first encounters with Becky, she laughed uncontrollably at a meme depicting Pepe the Frog.

But he gave her the benefit of the doubt saying, “I truly believed that the friendships I made in August, walking around the District in groups of 20, would last a lifetime.” Their squandered friendship is just one in a long history of burned bridges after pre-term.