This week, I hope to cover the most pressing and serious issue affecting the SAIS community. Surely, you know where I am going with this. Yes, I ask that we return to problems of SAIS Europe, notably, Teagate.
As a Bologna Center alumna, I am compelled to take a stand for the current students there. Bologna is famously cloudy. (Remember climbing the tower in the pouring rain, Class of 2013?) Its days can be long, cold, wet, and dreary. Quite possibly the only remedy available to ease the pain of the dreadful weather is a good cup of tea. So desperate is the need for this delightful beverage, the absence of hot water is certainly a gross violation of human rights.
Furthermore, the absence of hot water from the SAIS Europe campus is yet another sign of the decline of our great Western Civilization. At risk of raising the hideous green spectre of envy, I am compelled to report that last year’s Bologna class had a kettle. In an epic circumvention of bureaucracy, one of our esteemed classmates simply brought a kettle to campus and there it remained, all year long.
Please note that this event did not incur the SGA’s wrath in any form, particularly in the humble publication of The Observer.
Do not lose hope, dear Bolognesi! Though you have no doubt suffered greatly this past year, you will soon be in the warm embrace of the Washington, DC campus. Here in this magical land, you will have a greater class selection! Internship opportunities! Free food at receptions! And, most importantly, free water, hot and cold.
Welcome to the mothership.